Yikes, it’s another long post, but after this exorcism via blog maybe it’ll be out of my system for a while.

So I had originally planned for my next post here to be some random musings about some of my initial impressions of ClickTrackProfit (which has done the unthinkable by making me actually want to surf and enjoy surfing again, for the first time in ages).

I realize most everyone else has already been there a while and knows all about it, but me, I just started it a couple of weeks ago, so for the first time in a long while I get to be a newbie again. :-)

So anyway, yeah, I was going to write about CTP next.

But then I got the immediate connect-and-pitch again, the very next day after my last post, by new “connections”. Twice.

This is a prime example of what you don’t want to do to your brand new friends and connections (identifying info edited by moi, of course… I didn’t edit the spelling or grammar, though):

If you want to earn Serious income online from Serious Affiliate program.

You’re 3 steps away.

Become (edited) affiliate and earn more than (preposterous amount of money for any newbie affiliate) every month.

Register now:

(spammy affiliate link I have no interest in clicking since it came from a random person I have never interacted with before anywhere goes here)

Experienced sponser will guide you through the way to success.

Once you’have joined. Start with basic step and learn from this vedio:

(YouTube video I now have LESS than zero interest in watching goes here)

And there ya go. Not even a “Hi Lynn”, or a “How are you”.

And it did indeed stop at the video link. No “Best regards” or “To your success” or the like, and no name in the signoff (not that there was any kind of signoff whatsoever to wrap the whole sad pitch up).

Anyway, yeah. That was a prime example of the subject of Thursday’s post in a nutshell, sigh. The other one I received was really worse.

I was pleasantly taken aback by the amount of positive feedback and reTweets of the post the other day, and humbled and appreciative, thanks to all who did so. It seems it really struck a chord with a lot of folks!

And most if not all of the feedback I received said pretty much the same thing, more or less, whether it was actually said or said by sharing. Here’s how I’d put it:

Sending someone you don’t know, and have never interacted with before (whether directly or indirectly) your big hard-sell pitch and your affiliate link immediately upon them accepting your connection request or friend request…

…is like reaching over and switching the on/off switch to their brains to “off”.

(If people had on/off switches on their heads, of course. Which they don’t. But if they did…!!!)

When I’m talking about people who send connection/friend requests and then spam their new friends and connections, I’m not talking at all about, for instance, folks who have connected with me via CTP and such.

Which makes sense, since most anyone who’s joined ClickTrackProfit has probably at least watched a few of the fabulously entertaining training videos, or spends time at TE Live or in the various TE chat rooms and such, and for the most part, those people already know that spamming people with big pitches and unsolicited affiliate links isn’t cool.

Folks like that are for the most part not the ones that need to read a post like this the most. And therein lies the catch-22 of writing this post and the last one in the first place, but anyway…

And it doesn’t mean I’m averse to all promotion, nor should anyone in this business be. That would be pretty hypocritical of all of us, to be in a marketing-related business and never ever expect to be promoted to.

If I’ve voluntarily gotten myself on your list and you’re promoting something, heck yeah, I expect to hear about what you’re promoting from time to time. I probably know you, or at least know of you, anyway, or something you’ve done or something I’ve seen regarding you has piqued my interest – and if I’m on your list then I’m interested in what you’re promoting anyhow.

That’s not the same thing as being someone I’ve never seen nor chatted with sending me a friend request or a connection request, out of the blue, just to immediately try to pitch me their product or program and give me their referral link.

It’s also different from me being new in someone’s downline and them sending me something useful and valuable that relates to the program I’ve joined under them, like an e-book about making the most of traffic exchanges when I’ve joined under that person in a new (to me) exchange. That’s another animal too, and something someone can actually use that’s related to and relevant to something they’re already IN, or fairly closely related at least.

The connect-and-pitch syndrome that I’ve been describing and have been getting slammed with lately has mostly come from two places – one very (VERY!) large traffic exchange that doesn’t really have much of a “community”, per se, and another very large Internet community that’s geared to, and full of, Internet marketers of all types, big and small.

Both places which appear to be big giant magnets for the garden-variety spammers. You know, like the ones that send the e-mails that generally end up in your Gmail spam section.

Anyway… you know, if you think maybe you are seeing yourself or a version of yourself in that example above, the best advice I have for you is this: Do something different and change what you’re doing, immediately. Don’t do what far too many people in Internet marketing do, which is pitch and pitch and pitch and p… you know.

Instead, get to know people first, let them get to know you, build a relationship with them first, whether directly or indirectly. Hang out in the community you want to be involved in, whether it’s the TE community or somewhere else.

If you don’t really have the time to do much socializing within the TE community (or whatever other type marketing community applies), then at least get your pages and ads out there with your photo and your name, or at least a memorable logo, and where they can be seen enough, so people might at least feel like they know you, or at least know something about what you’re about.

One-on-one and the personal touch works best in traffic exchange land – i.e., be a person, not a company – but if you want to be a company and be super successful online, many of the same things apply.

I don’t know a single person personally who works for the hosting service LiquidWeb, but between the excellent word of mouth and several recommendations from my techie-type friends, and the way LiquidWeb promotes their brand and interacts with their customers or would-be customers – very hands-on and with a lot of personal attention available if needed – I became a big fan immediately.

And then – important part — I became a customer.

But back to traffic exchanges and the like… shoot, there are people whose pages I saw in the early days of Sweeva that I have never spoken to or typed with or met, but I feel like I know them and what they’re all about, because I saw their pages and/or their videos thousands upon thousands of times.

There were folks within the TE community that I knew of, had seen their pages tons of times, read their blog posts, or any number of things… long before I ever was actually around them in any of the usual community gathering spots.

You know what? They turned out to be pretty much the same as my perception of them always had been before we were in the same place at the same time, yep. And always a positive experience, sometimes exceptionally so.

Just having yourself out there and hanging out and being around makes a world of difference. Over the years I have sometimes wound up in the downlines of people I really didn’t know very well, or even didn’t know at all, but I’d seen them in the traffic exchanges and related areas plenty enough and made the choice to sign up under them to whatever.

Just the other night (thanks to the magic of downline builders, basically) I wound up in the downline of someone I really don’t know all that well but is well known in the community, and who is someone I know that someone I do know well has a lot of interaction with and respects.

Just another cool happenstance thanks to someone having put themselves out there in TE land, and standing out from those who don’t, and therefore being known.

But trust me, if I know you or know of you, and know you are in (or have been involved with) such-and-such opportunity or program or product, and I’m interested in it? I will likely come looking for you and ask you for your link, or I’ll look for your profile or blog or website and grab your link there. I’ll seek you out, whether directly or indirectly. I’ve done it plenty before in such cases.

That’s the kind of thing that happens when you get yourself out there and go to the many gatherings there are in the TE community and talk to or listen to and get to know people. That’s the kind of thing that happens when you get your splash pages and squeeze pages out anywhere you can get them where they will be seen.

People will remember you and what you promote, or whose programs you usually promote. And more often than not, if they know you or know of you, remember you, and like you or like something about what you do or what you’re about – they’re likely to come to you if and when they’re interested.

They’re liable to contact you directly and ask you for it, or (more likely) they’ll visit your blog or website or your profile and look for the link, or look for an article or post you wrote about that program or product. Or they’re on your list and will get it that way. Or they’ll see your page again in such-and-such traffic exchange and say to themselves, “Hey, I’ve been meaning to check that thing out, I think I’ll sign up under {your name here} and take a look.”

That’s where the magic happens, in this business.

Don’t make yourself a nuisance. Make magic instead.